When we are learning to talk, our brains begin to form two distinctly separate neural networks which end up determining the quality of the rest of our entire lives. It’s as if our brain forms two separate boxes where it puts everything we experience from then on and what is able to be put in those boxes ends up meaning the difference between a life of happiness or horror, a life of success of failure, a life of confidence or unworthiness. Unless we learn about these two boxes and choose to begin living beyond them, it is easy to feel like you are living less of a life than you could.
I call these two boxes the I Box and the Other Box because those are the two main ideas that get put in the two boxes. Your brain puts everything it decides “you” are into the I Box and it puts everything else into the Other Box. Living with these two boxes creates the feeling that there is always something missing or not quite enough while simultaneously a strong desire to keep yourself safe.
Below is a list of steps outlining the basic process we all tend to live through. Check these out and if you want a step by step way to begin living beyond your two boxes now, you can check out this post here:
1)The 3 I box assumptions are formed, These include a belief about yourself, a belief about other people, and a belief about the world.
- A) I am not ___________
B) People are not___________
C) There is not______________
2) Your I Box feels something is missing ( because of the 3 I Box assumptions that assume you, people and the world are less than they are) and simultaneously feels the need to keep itself safe (which means maintaining it’s 3 I Box assumptions).
3) Your I Box actively tries to get what it feels is missing (to know what it would feel like without the limitations of the 3 I Box assumptions) while at the same time keeping itself safe (which means maintaining the 3 I Box assumptions). So the I Box is in a no-win situation, because keeping itself safe includes maintaining it’s 3 I Box assumptions and getting what it feels is missing can only truly happen through giving them up. Maintaining the 3 I Box assumptions keeps the same types of situations showing up in your life over and over because we naturally create circumstances that reflect our strongest assumptions. It can also feel like we are living in a constant state of dis-ease, conflict or a lack of peace because we feel pulled in two opposite directions simultaneously and nothing seams to ever fix it for long.
4) The I Box chooses compromise situations in an attempt to both keep itself safe (maintain it’s 3 I Box assumptions) and get what it feels is missing (to feel the opposite of it’s 3 I Box assumptions).
This usually happens in any of the following ways:
A) The I Box builds itself up so it feels more powerful than the “other” that it is interacting with by attaching new ideas about itself to the 3 I Box assumptions (awards, positions, titles, stories: “I am famous”)
B) Reducing “other” so that it feels less powerful than the I Box
C) Reducing the idea of itself to appear less powerful to “other” (“I am disabled”) in order to extract what it feels is missing from “other’ through pity or obligation
D) It builds up “other” to appear more powerful than the I Box for the same reasons as C above
5) The only real way for the I Box to get what it feels is missing is to give up it’s 3 I Box assumptions and experience itself (or more accurately “you” experience “you” beyond the I Box) as naturally the opposite of the 3 I Box assumptions. Your I Box IS the 3 I Box assumptions plus any other ideas you have built on top of them. Discovering and letting the assumptions go IS experiencing yourself beyond your ego.
Thanks for reading!