Pretend for a second that you have two volume knobs that adjust your level of stress.
One volume knob is marked “Expectations”. This knob turns up or down the amount of expectations you bring to the present moment. It adjusts how much or how little you are expecting things to be a certain way each moment.
The second volume knob is marked “Appreciation”. This knob turns up or down the amount of appreciation you bring to the present moment. It adjusts how much or how little you are appreciating what is happening right now each moment.
Now pretend you are in a situation where you notice you feel more stress than you would like. Take a second to really put yourself there.
Now imagine you turn down your Expectation volume knob all the way to zero, turning off any and all expectations about what you thought had to happen right now (it only has to be just for the moment).
Now imagine you turn up your Appreciation volume knob all the way to ten, turning up your feelings of appreciation and bringing it to what IS happening right now (it only has to be just for the moment).
Notice how it feels. Notice what you are focusing on now that is different than in the moments before.
Each time you adjust these two volume knobs, you are adjusting your relationship between what you think of as yourself and what you think of as other. You can instantly annihilate or greatly reduce stress in any moment and you are, at the same time, improving your ability to eliminate stress in your life in a more permanent way.