Posted on

How to Stay Happy When Dealing with People: Two Simple Rules

We’ve all had times where we’ve felt uncertain, confused or even downright frustrated with our ability to deal with people and stay happy.

Sometimes dealing with people or a particular person can become so overwhelming or negative that we want to stop or limit our interacting with all people.

Have you ever felt this way?

What if there were two simple guidelines that could help us navigate the sometimes murky waters of how to relate to other people and make sure we can stay happy throughout the entire process?

What if by following these two rules you could avoid or severely limit the negativity when interacting with other people for the rest of your life?

If this sounds useful, read the rest of this post to discover how you might be able to have a much lighter, freer, happy and vastly more productive time interacting with all people from now on.

The first idea in understanding these two rules is the idea of staying above the line.

The idea of being above the line was first developed by the Conscious Leadership Group and it represents the idea of being in the optimal state of mind to be happy and effective.

You can learn more about it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLqzYDZAqCI

My interperatation of staying above the line simply means that we make sure we are assuming two things about ourselves when we interact with another person:

1) We assume that we are the one in charge of how we feel (not them) and
2) We assume that we are the one in charge of our lives improving (not them)

When we make sure we carry these two assumptions when interacting with others, we are ensuring that we can interact with them from a place of completeness and integrity. We are not expecting the two vital responsibilities of being in charge of how we feel, and making sure our lives are improving to come from any other person or situation other than ourselves. We are not expecting to outsource these vital responsibilities to the other person, consciously or unconsciously, so we are free to relate to them any way we choose to without feeling the need for them to show up in a particular way.

When we stay above the line with people by making sure we are assuming these two things, we feel free to relate to people much more openly, honestly and freely. This is half of the equation to staying happy while relating to another person:

Rule #1: Always stay above the line when interacting with another person.

But as you know, just because you decide to stay above the line with someone, that doesn’t mean that they will decide to stay above the line with you.

We’ve all been in situations where we are staying true to ourselves and making sure we don’t bring negativity into relating with another person, only to have the other person choose to relate to us with more negativity.
This is the reality of relating to others. We all get to choose whether we stay above or below the line, and no one can choose for us.

While you staying above the line certainly can make it easier for the other person to get or stay above the line also, sometimes they simply might not want to be above the line. Many people you meet will not know what it is to be above the line and many will not have made the commitment to themselves to interact with others from above the line.

All we can do is commit to ourselves that we will stay above the line when interacting with other people AND that we will not fall into a pattern of enabling another person to stay below the line.

Many people fall into the trap of assuming responsibility for how others feel or for their lives improving in some way. Over time, this brings negativity into relating to the other person because you are enabling them to stay below the line. You are making it easier for them to not assume these two things:

1) That they are the one in charge of how they feel (not you) and
2) That they are the one in charge of their lives improving (not you)

This is the other half of the equation for staying happy while relating to another person:

Rule #2: Never enable another person to stay below the line.

When we follow these two simple rules, we are guaranteeing ourselves and others the maximum amount of happiness when interacting with them:

Rule #1: Always stay above the line when interacting with another person.

Rule #2: Never enable another person to stay below the line.

-Andy