Have you ever had the experience where you found yourself feeling pretty good with how things were going, but then started to wonder or worry about things changing?
Often times when we find ourselves in what we would consider really good circumstances, our doubts about the future can creep in and suddenly the really good circumstance is not as easy to enjoy, or even worse; we can even feel ourselves starting to sabotage the really good situation out of our fear about potentially loosing it.
Have you ever wished you could just simply relax and enjoy the good stuff for longer without worry coming in to overshadow it?
If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. This experience is actually built in to the way our brains get formed.
The good news is that understanding 3 key things about how this experience gets created, also gives us a precise formula to reverse it now and in the future.
Key Number 1: You Are Already an Expert at Creating Consistency
The good news is that if you have experienced consistently feeling less than great with anything in your life, then you know it’s possible to have a consistent experience in your life. You know that it’s possible to consistently feel a certain way about something in your life.
For example, if you have consistently felt less than happy at work, in your relationships, with your health or with your ability to do what you love, then you know you have the ability to have a consistent experience of that area of your life. The only missing piece for you is that you aren’t thrilled with the kind of experience it is most of the time.
Understanding what makes the difference between you feeling happy with something and you feeling less than happy is the key to staying happier with it. You already know you can do the consistency part.
Key Number 2: Only One Decision Makes the Difference Between Consistently Feeling Bad or Consistently Feeling Good
When we experience something as consistently less than great, it is because we are experiencing one simple math equation inside of our heads. This equations was set up when we were really young and we have been using it to see the world in a certain way ever since. The equation is:
I = Not Enough + Always
In other words, we assume that “I am not always enough”.
This broad assumption creates doubt about our ability to feel consistently good about almost everything, because we assume that there will be a time when we will not be enough to feel good about it or to continue to have what we want most in our lives.
Realizing this math equation is based on an assumption that we made back when we were first learning how to speak and understand the world, and is not really the way things are or have to be, shows us the possibility that we can simply re decide.
An assumption is nothing more than deciding on a meaning for something. We can simply re decide, or create a new meaning.
Instead of continuing to assume that we are not always enough, we can decide that we are always enough.
Our experience of life can move from “I am not always enough” to “I am always enough” simply by re deciding.
Imagine for a second that you got to live as someone else for a day. You were given two choices of people that you could experience life as them for a day. You got to learn how each one experienced their life before you had to decide. You learned that person number one spent all day thinking “I am not always enough”. No matter where they went or what they did, they always told their self “I am not always enough”.
You found out person number two spent all day thinking “I am always enough”. No matter where they went or what they did, they always told their self “I am always enough”.
Which one of these two people would you choose to live as for a day?
The beautiful thing is, you get to choose which one of these two people you get to live as for the rest of your life!
Key number 3: Re Deciding Can Be as Easy as Memorizing and Practicing One Sentence.
If you’d like to end your self sabotaging and experience more consistent happiness in a situation, you can try out these three simple steps and notice how things start changing now. Re deciding that we are always enough might be one of the most challenging things we could take on because the decision to believe we are not always enough was formed during a time in our early life when we thought us believing it was a matter of our own life or death. The wording of this one sentence and the amount of repetitions you get with it are key to it helping you end your self sabotage.
Step 1: Think about a situation you feel like you might be self sabotaging and say the following sentence to yourself:
"I can't ever not be enough for this now."
Step 2: Memorize the sentence. Repeat it to yourself (it can either be out loud or only in your head) 10 times to memorize it right now, and then over the course of the next day or two, repeat the sentence to yourself another 90 times to get it into long term memory.
"I can't ever not be enough for this now."
Step 3: Remind yourself to say this sentence to yourself whenever you are in or thinking about the situation you have been self sabotaging until you notice feeling completely different about the situation. Notice what effect it has on how you feel and on what changes start to happen.
"I can't ever not be enough for this now."
Thanks for reading and thanks for being you!
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