Have you ever had the experience where you found yourself feeling pretty good with how things were going, but then started to wonder or worry about things changing?
Often times when we find ourselves in what we would consider really good circumstances, our doubts about the future can creep in and suddenly the really good circumstance is not as easy to enjoy, or even worse; we can even feel ourselves starting to sabotage the really good situation out of our fear about potentially loosing it.
Have you ever wished you could just simply relax and enjoy the good stuff for longer without worry coming in to overshadow it?
If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. This experience is actually built in to the way our brains get formed.
The good news is that understanding 3 key things about how this experience gets created, also gives us a precise formula to reverse it now and in the future.
Key Number 1: You Are Already an Expert at Creating Consistency
The good news is that if you have experienced consistently feeling less than great with anything in your life, then you know it’s possible to have a consistent experience in your life. You know that it’s possible to consistently feel a certain way about something in your life.
For example, if you have consistently felt less than happy at work, in your relationships, with your health or with your ability to do what you love, then you know you have the ability to have a consistent experience of that area of your life. The only missing piece for you is that you aren’t thrilled with the kind of experience it is most of the time.
Understanding what makes the difference between you feeling happy with something and you feeling less than happy is the key to staying happier with it. You already know you can do the consistency part.
Key Number 2: Only One Decision Makes the Difference Between Consistently Feeling Bad or Consistently Feeling Good
When we experience something as consistently less than great, it is because we are experiencing one simple math equation inside of our heads. This equations was set up when we were really young and we have been using it to see the world in a certain way ever since. The equation is:
I = Not Enough + Always
In other words we assume that “I am not always enough”.
This broad assumption creates doubt about our ability to feel consistently good about almost everything, because we assume that there will be a time when we will not be enough to feel good about it, AND it creates a second equation which is:
Other (everything that is not me) = Not Enough + Always
In other words, we assume that “There is not always enough”.
Realizing that these math equations are based on an assumption that we made back when we were first learning how to speak and understand the world and are not really the way things are or have to be, shows us the possibility that we can simply re decide.
An assumption is nothing more than deciding on a meaning for something. We can simply re decide, or create a new meaning.
Instead of continuing to assume that we are not always enough, we can decide that we are always enough.
Our experience of life can move from “I am not always enough” to “I am always enough” simply by re deciding.
Imagine for a second that you got to live as someone else for a day. You were given two choices of people that you could experience life as them for a day. You got to learn how each one experienced their life before you had to decide. You learned that person number one spent all day thinking “I am not always enough”. No matter where they went or what they did, they always told their self “I am not always enough”.
You found out person number two spent all day thinking “I am always enough”. No matter where they went or what they did, they always told their self “I am always enough”.
Which one of these two people would you choose to live as for a day?
The beautiful thing is, you get to choose which one of these two people you get to live as for the rest of your life!
Key number 3: Re Deciding Can Be as Easy as 1-2-3
If you’d like to experience more consistency in your happiness, you can try out these three simple steps anytime you are feeling less than great about something.
Step 1: Ask yourself either one of these questions:
“How am I not feeling like there is enough now? What am I focusing on instead?”
“How am I not feeling like I am or will be enough? What am I focusing on instead?”
Step 2: Ask yourself:
“How am I assuming this could reveal that I am not always enough now?”
Step 3: Let go of the assumption (if you want to of course) and allow yourself to feel what it feels like to know you are always enough. Simply decide to let go of assuming that you are not always enough and focus your attention on how it feels to know you are always enough.
If this feels a little challenging, you can ask yourself:
“How would it feel to be absolutely certain I am always enough?”
How does it feel to experience life with these two assumptions:
“I am always enough. There is always enough” ?