Our brains have developed two main filters (the intrinsic and extrinsic neural networks) that cause us to sometimes perceive ourselves as not yet complete. When our attention is focused only on these two networks, most or all of our energy is focused on attempting to get circumstances to complete us by either avoiding any situation we think will not complete us or by getting to situations we think will.
We mistakenly assume that A) we are not yet complete and B) that control over circumstances can “make” us complete. This automatically creates fear, anxiety and experiences that are less than happy. This game is unwinnable because it is not real, it’s simply made out of pictures (thoughts) in our head.
The Goal Behind all Goals: What do we really want?
When we set a goal, we imagine that a particular circumstance in the future will allow us to feel more of the feelings we want most by completing a picture we have or want to have of ourselves. We don’t want the particular circumstance as much as we want what we assume it will give us: the feeling of being complete. Often times, through setting a goal with this intention, we keep the circumstances we want away from our experience because sometimes what is required to create a particular circumstance IS us feeling complete already. Have you ever done this?
Regardless of what we choose though, our life continues to create the very best opportunities for us to notice we are complete now. Any time we experience something that we don’t prefer, it is in fact, the most efficient way for us to notice we are complete now if we choose to. When we are not already choosing to notice we are complete, life has to make some circumstances less that what we prefer (smack us on the head) so we’ll pay closer attention to it and hopefully start noticing we are already complete in these circumstances; to notice we can stop trying to control the situation and see that we already are everything we want. This is the reason for human suffering. The less we are noticing how we are already complete in a circumstance, the more we can potentially suffer with it until we do.
When we recognize that what we really want beyond any circumstance is to feel complete and that life is giving us the best opportunities (the best circumstances) to get what we really want (feeling complete) every moment, we can begin to allow our life to continue giving us what we want more easily. All we really have to do is accept that what is happening is our best opportunity to get more of what we want most (feeling complete), be open to noticing how we are complete now, and life will continue to do the rest.
As we begin noticing that we are complete more often and feeling more complete in general, the circumstances we experience can be more in line with what we prefer more often because we don’t need to be reminded (smacked on the head) that we are already complete as often.
This is how our life is always perfect whether we recognize it or not. Life got your back!