If you are like a lot of people, you’re probably sick and tired of being so Goddamned happy all the time. It’s awesome day this, and incredible moment that and unbelievable life changing for the better event here – it can get downright annoying, right?
I mean when is the sunshine shower ever going to stop?
You probably just want to get away from it all and relax in the comfort of some plain old fashioned misery, am I right?
Well look no further because in this post I am going to show you the formula for how to increase your unhappiness by as much as 300% or more. And the even better news is it won’t take more than a few moments for you to begin feeling those unhappy, depressing or downright terrifying emotions you have been craving.
Just to be fair, if it’s been awhile since you’ve experienced unhappiness, it might take a little practice, but it will surely be worth it.
Now you might say, Andy is this going to require a whole bunch of effort having to do things like watch a lot of mind numbing stupid T.V. shows like the news, drink gallons of fluoridated water or take the time to listen to my neighbor’s whine fest about how crappy his life is even though he’s on yet another uptake inhibitor?
We’ll let me assure you that by using this formula you can become very unhappy without doing any of those things.
So let’s get started!
The unhappiness formula makes use of a whole bunch of research done by billions of humans throughout all of recorded history who all have helped some humans (the ones who were truly committed to excellence in the field) to become perhaps the universe’s leading experts in the field of unhappiness.
Standing on the shoulders of their forefathers and foremothers, humans of all shapes, sizes and colors have added their own data to this ever growing pool of precise, pristine and continually refined information that I will now be presenting in what I am calling the unhappiness formula.
My hope is that by laying out this formula, even though I cannot take credit for the information here because it is not new in any way, that the understandings presented will never have the chance of being lost and humanity will have the ability to be unhappy far far into the future whenever it so chooses.
Your Main Resource for Creating Unhappiness:
Researchers have discovered that the one resource you have that will determine just how unhappy you can ultimately become is your attention. By using the power you have to focus your attention on the things that naturally create unhappiness, you can increase your overall misery level indefinitely.
The 2 Main Things That Will Always Create Unhappiness (as long as you are diligent in focusing on them)
The 2 things that will guarantee you unhappiness whenever and however much you want are:
1) Focusing your attention on the future
2) Holding onto expectations
These 2 factors play into all unhappiness no matter what form it comes in. Whenever you want to feel any sense of unhappiness, you simply need to focus your attention further out into the future and or add more expectations to how you think things should happen.
The Unhappiness Formula: Your Key to Lifelong Unhappiness
So to wrap up everything we’ve talked about here into one easy to remember formula, whenever you are wanting to be more unhappy, simply follow the following steps:
Step 1: Focus your attention farther out into the future. Usually the farther out the better.
Step 2: Add more expectations about what things should be like. The more expectations you have and the more detailed your expectations are the better. If you can also add the idea that you will not survive if these expectations do not happen, then you will get the most from this step.
That’s it. It is as simple as that. Now I know what you’re probably thinking; this seams way too easy! Well let me just say that this is really all that’s required for you to do to be as unhappy as you ever want. It may not be easy to do at first, especially if you’ve had a long history of being happy most of the time, but with a little practice you’ll find these 2 steps getting easier and easier.
You might ask, what if I slip up and forget to do these 2 steps?
Well I’m sorry to say that if that happens, you will experience a period of happiness. But now that you know this formula, as soon as you catch yourself in that joyous state, you can instantly remember the steps and simply refocus your attention either further out into the future or on adding more expectations or both and you will instantly come back to the state of misery where you want to be.
Before you know it, you’ll be as miserable as you were hoping for!
Best of luck and happy unhappiness!